14: 3 Little Ways You Can Be a Better Mom (even though you know you’re already the best). – Meant to Bloom: personal growth for hot mess moms
It’s funny you’re here to read this, because you’re already the best mom for your children. You were picked out from any woman across all time and space to be the mother to your children. You know better than anyone else how to be the mother to those kids of yours. That knowing might just be buried under a pile of crappy parenting advice and unrealistic home care expectations.
When you keep your focus where it belongs, everything else falls into place. Lead with your heart more than your brain. Seek God first and the rest figures itself out. Being a “better mom” is all about being spiritually aligned with your own self.
The tiny things tend to be the greatest stressors. Let’s be clear – Motherhood is not Homemaking. Motherhood is not House cleaning. Motherhood is not Cooking. Motherhood is not Budgeting. Motherhood is not Chauffeuring. These things often go hand in hand with motherhood, but they are not synonymous. A mother who doesn’t do the cooking in her home is still just as much a mother as the one cooking Marth Stewart level dinners.
Motherhood is the unique and beautiful and influential relationship you have with your kids. Connection is more important than cooking and cleaning when it comes to motherhood. Being a good mom and parenting well are not always exactly the same thing. Dads parent, too. Motherhood is all about you connecting with your kids and loving them the best you can – parenting is about raising and teaching and discipline choices. Again, they go hand in hand, but aren’t the same thing exactly.
Never let homemaking be a priority over ensuring that your kids feel loved. You might show your love by providing a clean home for your kids, but I guarantee your kids don’t perceive love by having a clean home.
We burn out because we’re trying to wear every hat at the same time, instead of balancing them day by day to determine what our family and ourselves need each day.
I think we get flooded with parenting advice and home care expectations that we don’t actually get a lot of solid advice on how to be a “good mom” and how to feel fulfilled in our motherhood journey.
Don’t believe you have to do it all on your own all the time. Even the top celebrities and the Proverbs 31 woman have help in raising their children and keeping their homes in order.
My favorite piece of parenting/family advice comes from this section in the Bible that wasn’t actually written to be “parenting” advice, but simply advice for how to treat other believers. I think if we’re called to treat other grown adults this way, we should do the same for our children.
“warn those who are idle and disruptive,
encourage the disheartened,
help the weak,
be patient with everyone.
Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong,
but always strive to do what is good for each other and for everyone else.
give thanks in all circumstances”1 Thessalonians 5:14-18
Raising kids is a vehicle for really incredible spiritual growth. When we pay attention to what we’re actually doing and get attuned into ourselves, there’s a lot to learn from raising your kids.
3 Little Tips to Be a Better Mom
1. Love your kids. Deeply and truly.
Love is a verb; love is patient, love is kind. Learn to show that you love them just as they are without trying to change who they are. They are made unique and perfect. It’s not their job to figure out how to fit into your selected style of parenting. It’s our responsibility as parents to figure out the right method for each kid.
2. Play with your kids.
Kids love play. Kids learn through play. Kids connect through play. Find just one thing to play with them and get intentional about making time to play. Play is good for you, too!
3. Learn from your kids.
Kids are full of simple wisdom if you pay attention. Learn how they play, how they learn, how they think. Pay attention to them to anticipate what they need.