I always had this idea that you couldn’t quit something that wasn’t destroying your life. I think mommy-wine culture can be incredibly toxic to those who struggle with addiction. If you’re good with a glass of wine at the end of the day, that’s awesome, more power to you. But if you feel like this could be an unsafe lifestyle for you, the way I did, I want to take this time today to give you permission to quit while you’re ahead.
I always felt like I needed to hit rock bottom before I could claim sobriety. I thought everything needed to be done in a particular order or that I had to fit into a perfect mold and definition of things. It felt silly to me that I could do something to make my life better when my life wasn’t falling apart. I was wrong, of course.
I struggle with moderation. I’m an all-in kind of person. I can’t have a little, it’s all or nothing. I’ve always been a binge-er. I couldn’t watch one episode, I had to watch a whole season. I couldn’t have a single serving of chips, I had to eat until I felt sick…
You don’t have to hit what you view as rock-bottom before you give up a destructive behavior – whether that’s your screen time, staying up too late, snacking habits, negative self-talk, inappropriate drinking, etc.
The choice is yours. Change can be hard, but it’s beautiful and necessary. Life is always changing, you’ve got to face facts and accept that it’s time for you to bloom.
My story with alcohol and the dark road I saw as an option.
I had gotten to a point where I was drinking as a reward for surviving the day – the point isn’t to survive by the way, that’s literally the bare minimum of your potential and doesn’t deserve a reward.
I wasn’t getting drunk or even tipsy, but I was developing a habit.
It was when I had the idea of day drinking at home with my kids because I wasn’t equipped to handle their childish behavior that I had the realization of what I was doing. I saw two roads before me and I chose the unfamiliar one, the one I hadn’t seen adults take as a kid, the one that would require me to face my demons instead of drowning them in alcohol
What I want you to take away from this is that you don’t have to hit what you think is rock bottom before you give up destructive behavior. Your personal rock bottom doesn’t have to be as low as you’ve seen others go. You can quit any time.
You’re in control of your own life. What other people are going to think and say and judge you on is none of your business, it’s out of your control, and it honestly doesn’t affect your life. If you never knew that someone was judging you, it would literally have zero effect on you – the effect is the way you choose to respond to knowing they are judging you.
Whether you’re struggling with the desire to give up a substance, a food addiction, coffee, or a bad habit, maybe you’re trying to give up negative thinking, or criticism, it’s hard to make change and to live with change. Keep going. Abundant life is on the other side. See the addiction or habit for what it is, it’s a distraction from your fullest life.
The first step is in realizing and admitting the problem. The rest is somehow easier – it’s staying committed and consistent that’s the hard part. I promise, it will get better. Life always gets better when you allow space for it to be better..
My tips – be mindful of where you are in life and what you’re doing. Pay attention to your habits and patterns. Be genuinely grateful for where you are right now and all you’ve got in your life. Embrace change and success in life – don’t hide away in the habits you’ve built yourself.