77: True of False: Being a Mom is Hard – A Coffee Conversation with Kelsey McKenna. – Meant to Bloom
This statement might not sit well with you, but Being a Mom is Hard – and ignoring the difficulties is just another piece of toxic positivity. Our tendencies to hide away our troubles, put on a happy face and keep on swimming is what’s tearing us apart. Mama, let’s stand together, let’s hold one another’s hand. It’s not always hard, but it’s okay to admit that it’s hard right now. In the end it all makes sense, it all makes us stronger, it’s all worth it. But in the middle, know you’re not alone, know you’re not the first to feel this way. Motherhood is tough, but YOU’RE TOUGHER.
In this episode we’re chatting about:
- Isolation and Community
- Guilt and shame spiral
- It’s so so worth it
>>Enter the Giveaway Right Here<< (ends 11:45pm Fri March 17, 2023)
Giveaway Link: bit.ly/meanttobloom
Connect with Kelsey
- Being a Mom is Hard Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/being-a-mom-is-hard/id1663064091
- EP 2 of BAMH: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/brittni-clarkson-mental-health-gratitude-and-enjoying/id1663064091?i=1000601048154
- Connect with Kelsey: www.instagram.com/bamishard
- Ask a question or share your story with Kelsey: 610-983-8053
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As you may know, I’m currently in a season of…
- Free Guides – Mindset Makeover & more: https://brittniclarkson.com/freebies/
- Planners, Journals, etc: https://a.co/iQGnc2a
- Courses collection: http://blossomacademy.teachable.com
- Website: http://www.BrittniClarkson.com
- Email me firstname.lastname@example.org
- Submit a question to be answered on the show: https://brittniclarkson.com/q-a-form/
Being a Mom is Hard (with Kelsey McKenna)
Interview transcribed with Descript
Brittni: Hello, my beautiful friends. Welcome back to the Meant to Bloom podcast. I’m so glad you’re here with us today. Today I have an amazing guest who has just some amazing things to share with us. Kelsey McKenna. She has a brand new podcast called, Being a Mom is Hard and I am just so all here for it. She is sharing all of these stories from so many different moms all over the place, and I can’t wait for you guys to find out about this and hear about this and go jump over there and follow her and subscribe and rate and review and all that good stuff, but let’s let her tell us all about this stuff today. But oh, I wanted to interject and make sure I said this is how we take the big scary aloneness away from our pain and share our strength with others.
I’m so all for you. Sharing your story, friend. Let’s meet Kelsey. Tell us about you and why you’re here, why you’re doing this, and I’m just so excited to hear from you.
Kelsey: Yeah. Thank you so much for that kind introduction. And by the way, second episode is Brittni Clarkson, it’s you. Thank you so much for sharing your story already, which was such a great episode. I got so much good feedback on that.
I’m Kelsey McKenna. I just launched my podcast two weeks ago, I think, two weeks ago. It’s been a blur, but it’s called Being a Mom is Hard and right now what I’m sharing through the podcast is just stories as I’m interviewing moms, just regular moms. Any, any mom, about their journey toward becoming a mom and then that transition into motherhood and how motherhood has been for them so far. So not only what’s been hard about it, but also you know, what they enjoy, what they love, you know, what stands out to them from those different phases of their journey.
So it’s been really great so far. I did a big chunk of interviews before I released the first episode. I think I’ve done like 17 or 18 maybe at this point. And I’ve released four. So I released two a week, and it’s been really interesting, honestly. So I never have done any podcasting before launching this podcast, but I had been interested in podcasting for a while.
I love listening to podcasts and my mom and I were actually considering doing a podcast together at one point, so I had kind of like looked into podcasting, but we decided not to do that and then all of a sudden, one day I had a really tough day and with my kids, and I say that it wasn’t tough, like something major happened.
It was one of those days where it just feels very, very, very long and I was not showing up the way I want to show up and I was feeling guilty and like shameful and all those things and just exhausted of course, and then the idea just came to start the podcast and just help share mom’s stories and try to kind of give a more realistic depiction, I guess, of what motherhood is today instead of kind of that curated what you might see on social media from some accounts out there that make it look a little bit, maybe easier or more put together than it might actually be. That’s the basis of the podcast.
I’m a mom of three, probably should have said that. Three girls, they are four and a half, two and a half and eight months old right now.
I have a husband, we’ve been married five years, so I’ve been either pregnant or breastfeeding since a month into our marriage until now, like five and a half years ago. So it’s been quite a, quite a, quite a ride. I love my kids. It’s great. I’m grateful I’m all the things, but it’s also, you know, it can be hard and I don’t think that that should be something women are afraid to say, cuz there are so many other things, like thinking about it feels almost shameful to me to say being a mom is hard.
And a lot of people were like, why are you naming it that. Like that is a very aggressive name. And I was like, I feel like this is my calling card. Like, if you see the name and you’re turned off, you probably shouldn’t listen to the podcast cuz it’s not gonna be all sunshine and rainbows.
I think it’s something where there are so many other hard things that are widely accepted to be hard and nobody feels shameful saying that it’s hard. Like think of becoming a doctor or climbing Mount Everest or things that people would look at and be like, that’s a hard thing to do.
And if someone said while they were doing it that it was hard, no one would be like, okay, but are you grateful? Oh, are you saying you don’t wanna do this? But for some reason with motherhood, I’ve seen that over and over again in my own life, but also on social media, that’s why the name is what it is and kind of the inspiration behind it.
B: Yeah. I’m actually glad you mentioned that because when I first heard the name of your podcast, I was like, oh, I’m not all for that at all because I have worked so hard to create a mindset in myself that’s like, no, it doesn’t have to be hard. And more like, I followed you and got to know you and you invited me on, and I’m like, but the woman who needs to hear it right now is in total agreement that, Yeah, being a mom is hard. And she needs to hear these stories to know if she’s not alone just to build this community of, you know, I’m not on my own. Here’s my village. And that’s to overcome it being so hard.
K: And then it’s tricky cuz it’s like you don’t wanna dwell in the hard, like I think about this almost every day as I’m promoting it.
It’s like if I sit here and I think too much about how it’s hard, then I’m gonna fixate on the hard things. But it’s also, I think, unhealthy to be so the other way where you’re like in denial and that’s why I’m trying to kind of build this idea or like hard is not bad. Hard doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s negative, that your experience is negative.
But I feel like with other things that are hard, there’s not that same. I feel like we have almost built up in our society this idea that motherhood has to either come naturally or you need to be so, so grateful every moment that like or so appreciative every moment. that you don’t ever say the words or you don’t ever mention that It’s hard, but I feel like you can be grateful and something can also be hard.
Just like if you were going through like a really difficult like training for the Olympics or something that would be hard, like you could be so happy that your body allows you to do that. You could be so grateful. You could be at every moment turning around being like, wow, I’m so lucky. But you could also be.
Yeah. And I’m so lucky to do this hard thing. Like this is tough and I’m doing it almost motivating, you know? So I’m trying, most of my journey of doing this is for me and for people like me where it’s like I want to be able to acknowledge that it’s hard and not be in this like guilt, shame spiral when I think that, but then also have the gratefulness and everything you talk about on this podcast and through your story.
I wanna be able to hold both of those things together, but it’s hard. It’s a hard balance because you don’t wanna slip too far. Like into toxic positivity or slip too far into this, like dark, like this is so bad and hard and hard is negative. You know, you don’t wanna do that either. So it’s definitely a balance.
And I think about it all the time where I’m like, I know I’m turning people off with this name, but I keep pushing, keep putting it out there and try to say, I’m not saying like, let’s dwell and like commiserate or whatever word you wanna use.
B: I mean, the name definitely speaks to the right, the right person that you need to call in. And if it doesn’t speak to them like immediately, if they stick around, if they hear someone else who’s been on it, they’re like, wait a second. Oh, I get what you mean by it. Okay. I judged it too fast. I for sure I like, I love it now, now that I understand behind it, and I’m like, no.
Cuz the person who hears it and immediately is like, that’s for me. I agree. They’re the one who needed the most.
K: Yeah, it’s a calling card. It’s like calling you in, like, if you are feeling this right now, this might be a place, because most, almost every story, I think every story I’ve shared so far and every interview I’ve done so far has been a very uplifting story.
None of these stories have been like your story, like there are times in your story where it’s like, yeah, this is a hard moment. Like, and when you look at it over the arc, and that’s what’s so interesting is as women reflect back on the arc of their story, if they’re not someone who does that for a profession or for their own podcast or their own blog, you see them kind of putting these pieces together too, which is very interesting.
Where they’re like looking back and saying, oh, now that I’m reflecting. That was such a hard time, and I didn’t even realize all these other things that were at play or all these other things that came later. So it’s really interesting to see too, the women who are called to share their story, it’s almost always a very uplifting and positive message that’s coming out of it, and a message of Hope , you know, and it does get better and it does get easier, and there are ways to, to cope better, you know?
B: Absolutely. Yes. You were mentioning themes. One of the themes you were mentioning, you’re seeing with all these moms, sharing with you their stories.
K: Yeah. I would say that’s a, a theme I’ve seen is, is definitely, I think when you’re, especially early motherhood, like, and I’m in early motherhood now, like, and I haven’t been through this yet cuz I haven’t gotten out yet, early motherhood, but when it seems like when I’m interviewing moms who are a little further along in their journey, they are looking back and they’re able to really have such a like a positive perspective on it because they have kind of gotten out and they can see, oh, that was really hard for me and this is like how my life all came together, or this is how my community came together, or this is how I shifted my mindset, or this is how I changed my perspective.
Like all of these, whatever it is in their life, they can kind of see what pulled them out of it once they’re out of it. But when you’re in it, it’s just like, you’re like feeling around in the dark, kind of like, what? How am I leaving this phase of my life, you know, without just like, you know, white knuckling and trying to get through.
So it is, that’s a theme I’ve seen for sure is people, is women kind of putting back together the pieces as they look back and reflect on it and actually tell their story. Especially, like I said, if they haven’t done that, I’ve also really seen a theme of isolation come up in almost every, I think there might only be maybe two out of the 18 I’ve done where isolation and loneliness hasn’t come up in some.
Form, especially when they’re talking about the transition into motherhood, and those really early days, postpartum, first few years. That has come up. In almost every interview I’ve done which speaks to, you know, how big of a deal that is right now in our society and how so many women do feel like they don’t have that community, they don’t have the support, their spouse doesn’t understand ’em, their friends don’t get it.
If they may have dealt with, you know, loss or, you know, infertility or a really difficult pregnancy or a really difficult postpartum, postpartum depression. Like all of these different things that happen. And I think a lot. there is like the version online that you can find, and then there’s like the real people and a lot of women, I think they are missing the real people part of that community and that weight to battle, I guess, loneliness and isolation and everything that comes along with that, you know?
B: Absolutely. And that’s partly why I think like this podcast that you’ve got is so important because it shares those deeper stories that you would only hear from someone close to you.
But the people who are closest to you might not be going through the same type of thing as you at all. And they probably aren’t.
K: Yeah. Like from my especially, not at the same time.
B: Like what we see. as like our influences, like for me especially, it’s like, okay, I have, you know, for all my mom’s support and like mom advice and stuff, it’s like if I’m not turning to like podcasts and things where people are getting real, then you have social media where it’s pretty curated and people are sharing what they’re sharing, you know, and then you have like a lot of accounts that try to share like the real moments, but we’re not really sharing all of the real moments all of the time because yeah, the whole internet for one. and then the people closest to me are like my mom, who is a totally different generation, raising kids in the nineties and eighties was totally different than it is now.
Yeah. So her advice isn’t always super applicable and it’s like, I know you’re trying to help, but that’s not how we do things anymore at all. So who do I turn to?
K: Yeah. It’s hard to be that far away from it. Like with mothers. I’m very close to my mom, and I’ve joked with her about this time and time again, but she forgets some of the harder things.
Cuz when you’re that far it’s kind of like you give birth and then like you go to have your next kid and you’re like, that wasn’t so bad. And then you’re in it, you’re like, this is a horrible, you know, people always describe that I’ve had c-sections, so it’s not, not the same thing that I’ve had that I’ve had that described to me.
It’s kind of like that where like I tell my mom, oh, I’m like losing my hair postpartum again, or some little thing, and she’d be like, oh, I don’t remember that happening. And then I’m like, am I crazy? Am I the only person losing my hair, you know, in postpartum. So it’s like little things too, where you just feel like, you know, it feels big to you in the moment, but when you look back, if you’re that far out, you don’t remember it necessarily, or it’s not the same. So I totally get that.
B: We’re going through that a lot with my mom right now, like she doesn’t remember potty training kids and she doesn’t understand why some of my kids are having like a hard time deciding to potty train. Yeah. And. . I’m like, well mom, you don’t, you don’t remember because it wasn’t like, it’s not that big of a thing, you know?
Like in the end it’s like, a potty train and you don’t, when you’re in it, it feels like it’s a big, oh my gosh, you know? Gosh. Yeah. It feels really tough. it when you’re over it, you’re just like, yeah, my kid potty trained. Like it happened. It’s done. It’s over. And then you don’t lock those memories away forever, you know, 30, 40 years from now. It doesn’t really matter how you potty trained your kids, but yeah, you’re gonna forget the method of how it went and all the accidents that happened. Almost like I was convinced. All of us kids just went from like diapers to underwear and there was no potty training like, That happened.
I’m like, okay, mom. I remember peeing my pants in kindergarten. So yeah.
K: Definitely it happened somehow. And I mean, in some ways that’s nice to hear because you know, once you’re that far away from it, unless something very big happens, you’re probably not even gonna remember it.
But then at the same time, it does feel a little bit invalidating if like, you feel like, hey, like no one even realizes that this is a tough thing, you know? and I feel like, yeah, it’s also, the life stages that you’re, or not the life stages, but I should say like what type of life you have. So like, if your, like my mom was a full-time working mom, both my parents worked full-time, and that’s how I was after my first daughter. And then I became a stay-at-home mom during Covid. And so I was going through that and it’s like, what I realized when the idea came to me for the podcast, it’s, it’s always gonna be hard. It’s kind like how people say pick your hard, like there’s always gonna be something that’s hard.
And it doesn’t really matter. What your situation is if you stay home, if you are, you know, of course you wanna find the, the right mix for you and your family, but it doesn’t mean like, I just, I guess I wanna show more of the nuance. It’s not this like black and white thing. It’s all hard.
It’s not like it’s all easy and coming up daisies and rainbows and all of that. It’s like, it’s very nuanced today where you have, you have almost like too many options. You know what I mean? It’s not this cookie cutter like, okay, you either are a working mom and if you’re a working mom, then what you do is you drive away from the house and you go and you, you know, you work in an office or you work at a store or whatever. You know, it’s like you could be a full-time working mom, staying home. Like I know a mom who works full-time. Full-time hours and has her kids at home the whole time. She doesn’t even have childcare and her husband works outside of the home. Or you could be that traditional, like you’re leaving the home and you’re going out, or you could be staying home, or you could be staying home and you’re nannying someone else’s kid. Like there’s just so many different ways of being a family now, I guess, and also your spouse. What are they doing if you have one? You know, what is their work situation? And so much of that comes into play when we think about how few in our society are. Support systems are in place for a mom. You know, like when she’s in postpartum, when she’s in, you know, your, your spouse could be going back to work a week after you have a C-section.
You could be going back to work a week after. I interviewed a mom who went back to being a waitress two weeks after having an emergency C-section. She’s literally waiting tables carrying food, and she’s not even supposed to be walking that much. You know what I mean? There’s just so much variety and I think this overall, messaging of like while you were, you should be so grateful to have kids. Yes. And like practicing gratefulness helps, but it’s not helpful to just like shove that down someone’s throat who’s like going through it in that moment. You know what I mean? because it, there might not be support systems in place for that person. They might not have community, they might not have access to like mental healthcare or even physical, like just regular healthcare.
Like there’s so many things that can be going on. So I guess that’s another theme, is it really it? I do think the interviews show the nuance of like, okay, there are no matter what your situation is. There are periods that feel really hard. There are periods that feel like, yes, I’ve got this, of doing this, you know?
That’s definitely something that, I wouldn’t say it’s a theme, but it’s something that I’ve noticed in doing the interviews and listening back to them. It’s just like how gray it is. It’s not black and white, it’s not clear cut. I hope that makes sense.
B: Yeah, no, it totally makes sense.
And what I’m thinking as you’re saying is that there’s so many different options out there for us, and what’s coming to me is that there’s no right way to do motherhood. And when there’s no like one right way, everything you do can feel like it’s the wrong choice.
K: Yeah. Yeah, no, that’s exactly, I think what has happened.
That’s, I think part of why this idea came to me was like, it’s almost like I thought, oh, this is hard. Cuz I’m working really too many hours, like I am in a corporate job. I’m away from my kids too much. I am. Too busy. That’s why this is hard. I know. I will stop. I will. We don’t have to have it all. I’m gonna stop.
I’m gonna be a full-time. Stay-at-home mom and do focus on this. Oh wait, that’s also really hard. Almost harder for me at least than what I was doing before. Okay. I’ll do part-time. I will do freelance work. I’m gonna be part-time. It’s almost like I thought if I like put the pieces of the puzzles together in the perfect way that it would suddenly become easier. But no, it’s just hard no matter what. Like the, it’s different types of hard, um, depending, and you just, it’s more so about mindset. It’s, for me at least, it’s more so about mindset. It’s more so about how I approach today. It’s care taking, care of myself, like all these other things that are true regardless of like what I’m actually doing in my life.
And I’m like a very, I should say I’m a very… I don’t have it that hard at all. Like I haven’t gone through a period of like deep struggle. I haven’t had major mental health issues. I haven’t had major like infertility issues or huge amounts of grief that I was trying to process while raising my kids.
I have a partner, like I have a support system, I have a loving family. Like all of those things are true. So I’m saying this from that perspective, and I think that’s part of what. drove me to wanna actually execute upon. The idea was, I was like, if this is this hard for me and I have this flexibility and I have this support system and I am just kind of like a normal woman living in today’s society then this must, like, this is hard for, I’m sure everyone, you know, like this is just must be a global thing, for everyone, every mom that I know at least.
B: I can totally relate. Like on paper, my whole motherhood journey has been so simple and easy and like, like cuz that’s on paper though.
And then when my mindset, when I was not working on mental health or mindset at all and I was just letting, you know, just riding those waves of depression and anxiety and coming up for air and being happy for a little bit at a time. I felt so guilty for how hard it all felt. Cause I’m like, my life in perspective to other people’s lives is so easy.
But I wasn’t looking at my life from a gratitude standpoint at all. I was just looking at it like, this is easy. People have it harder than me. This shouldn’t feel hard for me. And oh my gosh, I beat myself up for that a lot. And that just made, you know, the whole mindset and mental health stuff way worse.
If you’re listening to stories of other women who’ve gone through more than you and have it, like what feels harder that than you to have it and you’re feeling like, you know, guilty for it, not feeling. like definitely let go of that guilt because it’s all a matter of perspective.
I’ve seen like a picture where it’s like, just because it’s like, just because someone else can carry the weight better than you, doesn’t mean it’s not heavy for you..
K: Yeah, totally. It’s kind of like when you’re little, I don’t know if your parents did this, but like when I was little, if I wouldn’t finish my food or if I was complaining about dinner, they’d be like, there are kids starving in Africa.
It’s kinda like that idea where it’s like there’s always gonna be someone who has it harder. There’s probably always gonna be someone who has it easier. Thinking about it that way, at least for me, Help me with my perspective, you know what I mean? Like it almost makes it worse because of the guilt.
And when I’m feeling guilty, then I’m feeling frustrated and I’m feeling bitter almost toward myself and toward my situation, I guess, if that makes sense. And like, that doesn’t help me. it doesn’t make it feel easier. It makes it feel harder because my mind is not in the. Place, I guess I feel almost like forcing it to feel easy.
This is kind of like hard versus easy. It’s like not. Hard versus grateful or hard. It’s almost like I, I kind of just wish that we could change and stop thinking like, oh, well, if you say it’s hard, then that means that you must not appreciate it enough. It’s like, no. It’s like I have days that are easy where I’m like, I’ve got this, like this is so easy.
And then I have days where I’m like, wow, I am so sleep deprived. I am so tired. Like I can’t even function. Like I can’t even be myself. And now I feel bad and I also feel guilty for that. And it’s like, why can’t I get my kids to sleep better? Why? Like all of those things that you think, I just feel like that makes it way harder.
And just knowing that it’s gonna be like some days are gonna be hard, some days are gonna be easy. That’s okay. That is not like, That’s just accepted. That’s like table stakes and we don’t need to be constantly feeling, adding the guilt of, oh, this feels hard today. So now I’m feeling guilty that it feels hard.
It’s like, no, I can just accept that some days are gonna be like that. You know? It’s kinda like when I accepted that my kids were not gonna sleep and suddenly it felt easier to be up at night when, whereas before when I was trying to force them, no, they’re gonna be good sleepers. You know, that made me really stressed cuz I was just trying so hard to force something that wasn’t gonna, you know, ever really happen, I guess, unless I was gonna go hardcore, like cry it out sort of thing.
So it’s kind of like that for me, I guess, is like just accepting it and rolling with the punches a little more has really helped me, but I can’t say that’s a theme really. I would say themes with the interviews definitely more are about community and the gratitude, I would say is a theme.
A lot of women like that. This too shall pass. Quote that, that has come up a lot. That idea of like the hard stuff is gonna pass and the easy stuff and the stuff that you’re super into and that you love and that’s so cute. That’s also gonna pass like that. That has come up probably I’d say like at maybe 10 of the interviews.
So I feel like that’s a lot for, yeah, it’s probably like the number one piece of advice that’s come out of all of the episodes.
B: I feel a little bit hung up on that whole like our parents at dinner. Telling us that like, you need to eat your food because they’re starving kids in Africa.
I think maybe that screwed up our whole generation a little bit, because I’m seeing now as you told that whole story, how I have applied that into motherhood subconsciously. Like, me eating and overstuffing myself on all this food. It’s not gonna feed the kids in Africa who are starving, for one thing. and now I feel guilty that I don’t want to like, appreciate what I have. Yeah. When someone else wishes they had it.
K: That’s exactly how I feel. I feel like that’s how, like for example in my life I was very scared I was gonna have fertility issues.
Cause one of my best friends had major fertility issues before I even got married. And I was very intimately aware of her journey. And so when my husband and I started trying, we got pregnant in the first month and I had a pretty tough pregnancy. I was like throwing up the whole time. I was hospitalized because I was throwing up so much I couldn’t, it was like hyper meatus.
I can’t even say the word, you know. Over morning sickness and then my hips started to separate and I couldn’t walk by the end of pregnancy. But the whole time I was just feeling so bad that I wasn’t more grateful to be in the middle of pregnancy because I was like, I have this baby in me and like I am so lucky and I logically knew that and in those moments, but it doesn’t take away the fact that I couldn’t keep food down for 20 weeks. It doesn’t take away the fact that, you know what I mean? So I feel the same way about that mentality of like, you gotta eat because kids are starving in Africa. And like the same with like, oh, well if I was having a hard time in a sport, well you’re lucky you even got to do this sport.
Some kids don’t get to do sports because they don’t have the money to do sports. And they’re like always trying to force that gratefulness and I think that once I started realizing, okay, I can say that whatever I’m going through is hard and still be grateful, I think that’s what really shifted for me.
And it only came in like the last probably year of my motherhood and I’m still working on it. I still feel really shitty when… I feel really bad, when I think like, oh my gosh, why am I not more grateful? Like if I’m breastfeeding and then I’m like, I’m so lucky to be breastfeeding cause I wanted to breastfeed and I’m able to breastfeed.
But like, also when I breastfeed, it means that my husband’s not taking those night shifts as much. You know what I mean? And I’m so tired. And that’s also hard, you know? And so I still have those moments where I’m like, God, Kelsey, like, just be like, just stop. Some people can’t breastfeed. Some people don’t have kids…
I just really, really am trying right now to hold both and to be like, no. Yes, I’m lucky and this is hard for me because if I don’t ever acknowledge that it’s hard, I can’t figure out ways. to cope better. If I’m in constant denial of the hard thing, I can’t cope with it. You know what I mean? Because I’m not even acknowledging that it’s like a legitimate thing that I need to strategize and figure out how to navigate better. So I think that that has been a huge thing for me that’s kind of underlying this whole project. And then hearing everyone talk about it, like there is so much talk about the guilt. There is so much talk about shame and stuff like yelling or things that you know nowadays are like. Good. You know what I mean, not good for your kid, or there’s studies, you know, there’s a lot that goes into it where it’s like everything needs to be qualified. Like I’m grateful and also like this thing, you know. So it’s super hard to do though. It’s really hard for me to just like hold both and to be okay with admitting to myself that this isn’t like coming naturally or this isn’t just the easiest thing I’ve ever done. You know, it’s really hard for me to admit.
B: You know, the most rewarding things in life are not the easiest.
K: I know they’re the hard things, right?
B: So, yeah. Let’s embrace another heads can be really hard because it’s like the most rewarding thing that what you’re doing right now.
K: Yeah. Like if, if it, like, if you didn’t do hard things in your life, like think where you would be.
So like that’s what I guess that’s what I was trying to say at the beginning. What you just said is exactly what I was trying to say is like all these other things that are hard, like, if I was like climbing Mount Everton, I turned and I said, oh, this is super hard, this climb. And I had been preparing my whole life.
Like for years I had been preparing to climb and it’s my dream to reach the top of man Everest and I turn to my partner and say, this is really hard right now. This is a hard part of this climb. They would never say back to… Ugh. You are so lucky that you have legs. You are just like, what is wrong with you?
That they would never say that because they know it’s hard, but that’s why we’re doing it. That’s why, you know, that’s why it’s worth it. It’s okay that it’s hard. We know that going into it. Do you know what I mean? So I just think it’s so strange that motherhood is the only thing I can think of, really, that I feel that way about that.
When someone says it or when someone admits it, I’m like, Ugh. Like why? Like, how can you say that about your babies? But every other thing is like, if I talk to either, I have so many people in my life who are doing hard things that are not related to having children. And if they were to come to me and be like, God, I’m going through a rough patch with this, I’d be like, I totally get it.
It’s really hard to have a start, like to build a company. That’s hard. I totally get that. That’s hard. Oh, that’s hard to lose your job. Oh, that’s hard to, you know, like, it’s, it’s so normalized in other areas that I guess I wish it were more normalized in motherhood cuz then we could do exactly what you just said.
Like, we could just be like, yeah, and we fucking got this. Like we’re, you know, like we’re doing it, like we’re doing a hard thing and it could be more positive. Even in the hard moments, maybe. I mean, that’s my hypothesis. Again, I’m not a specialist in anything but that , that’s, that’s my guess. That’s what I would hope.
B: Was there anything last that you like, feel like the mamas here need to make sure that they.
K: No, I mean, I will mention, just cause I, I’m plugging the pod, I’m shamelessly plugging the podcast, so I will mention, I am thinking about doing some episodes with, I’m not only doing just one-on-one mom interviews, but also doing maybe like panel conversations with moms who have all gone through a similar experience.
So maybe doing something that’s more themed in that way and also bringing on a couple different specials. In areas that are, you know, related to some of the things that have come up in the first big round of episodes, so that is something else that may be offered in the future. Hopefully if it all works out and I can keep it up, keep the momentum
So I will mention that. But no, I mean, thank you. Thank you so much for having me and letting me share about what I’m up to and for sharing your story again, it was, it was great. I got a lot of really positive feedback from hearing about your journey.
B: I’m really glad to hear that. I’m a big advocate for sharing your story, sharing your, sharing your journey so that people don’t know you’re on your own, because isolating and thinking that like you’re the only person going through this, you’re the only one struggling is probably like the most dangerous thing you can do to your own mental health is just not building that community and seeing like other people have done this before.
Motherhood is hard, but I can do it. It’s tough, but I’m tough.
K: It’s tough. But we knew it’s tough, like, we got this, you.
B: Absolutely. Okay, my friends, I’m gonna make this super easy for you and I will link Kelsey’s show in the show description of this episode for you so you can find her easily.
If you don’t like the platform that I plug it on, it is, being a mom is hard. You can look it up anywhere and do not forget when you’re over there to rate and review her show while you’re there. That is super important for podcasters, so please make sure that you reach out and tell her how much you love her show.
And also go ahead and reach out to Kelsey if you have a story that you feel like you really need to share. Yes, because I’m sure she will be receptive to that.
K: Yes. If you wanna share, just send me a message. Send me an email, fill out a, I have a form on my website, whatever you gotta, whichever way you prefer.
B: Awesome. Thank you so much for being here today.
K: Thank you.