60: The Groundwork to Creating a Life You Love

60: The Groundwork to Creating a Life You Love Meant to Bloom

I believe motherhood is awesome and all those hard parts aren’t really motherhood. The hardest parts of motherhood should be watching our kids struggle to learn something new, or going through a heartbreak.

Keeping up with dishes, stressing about what schooling options to choose, getting behind on laundry, and feeling like you’re not an absolute MILF, shouldn’t be the “hard parts of motherhood.” Because let’s face it. Those are just a distraction for the real reason you’re a mom, your real purpose as a mom.

Getting hung up on those chores or limiting beliefs just isn’t your destiny.

I believe that all women bloom when the season and environment is right for them. I also believe that with our minds, we can manipulate our environment. Through practices like effective affirmations, grounding, and deep gratitude, we can shift our whole mindsets and FEEL like we are living a new life, even without our external world changing at all.

Hey, my friend. Welcome into today’s episode of the Meant to Bloom podcast. I am Brittni Clarkson. I wanted to chat with you today about becoming a happy mom, and I know that there’s so many moms out there that just, this is so lost on you that you think being a mom means being a. Being a mom means being a hot mess.

That being a mom means you put yourself last because your kids come first, and I just have to call BS on that. I have to speak up and say, this is the whole point of me being here, that mom-life doesn’t have to suck. All right? Life doesn’t have to suck because I mean, honestly, it wasn’t, everything was happy in my life and then I became a mom and it, you know, Was this major speed bump and it threw everything off.

That’s not true for me. That’s not what happened for me. What happened for me was that everything was in conflict and strife, and I did my best, but it never felt like enough. And then I became a mom and thought, oh, here’s my identity. I know who I am now. I meant, I meant, I’m meant to, you know, raise this child.

And then I couldn’t, I couldn’t do. . I couldn’t raise my kid and maintain my sanity at the same time. It was not happening because I was already struggling with my outlook on life. I already thought that I was not worthy of more than I had. I was not worthy of joy. I was not worthy of peace. That was my belief going into motherhood and then becoming a mom.

I thought, Hey, my kid is my joy. And that’s not true. . I mean, I love my kids so much, but they are not a source of joy in my life. They are another human I have to be responsible for. They are another relationship. I have to grow and nurture and maintain a relationship that I am very much in the driver’s seat of.

Most relationships are very 50-50. Like in your marriage. You’re both sitting there in a driver’s seat making compromises. When it comes to your kid, like you’re in the driver’s seat, you determine where that relationship is going because they’re a child and they are not yet capable of controlling what they bring to the relationship.

Right? And that’s partly why motherhood is such a beautiful, beautiful relationship. But it is a lot of responsibility and it is a lot of work. And if you’re not in a mentally healthy place, if you’re not in a positive mindset, you’re really just setting yourself up for failure. You’re setting yourself up to lose.

Motherhood is, life can be hard. It really can, but it doesn’t have to be. Miserable. It doesn’t have to be, you know, painstaking life can be fun and it can be enjoyable, and your overall day to day can be so much easier because if you’re the mom who feels like you’re drowning, like you just can’t do this.

Because it’s so much to maintain that relationship with a child and to parent the child to teach them right from wrong, to keep your calm when they can’t. All the co-regulation and. The nurturing and then providing them meals every day, making sure they’re washing their hair, making sure that they’re safe and that they’re entertained and that they are having a good time, and that they’re learning manners and politeness and.

Paying attention to what they’re watching on TV and then helping them clean up all their toys all of the time. And then also trying to make sure that they have clean laundry and that you have clean laundry and that your husband has clean laundry and that you have dishes done, and then that you have food to eat and that you know what you’re cooking for dinner and that you thaw the frozen chicken time.

It can feel like a lot, but I do need you to clarify that most of this is not motherhood. Motherhood is that relationship with the child. Don’t go saying, mom, life is hard, and then harbor this resentment towards your kids because you are not implementing simplified systems throughout the rest of your life.

Because if you remove your kids from the situation, like 95% of the things you do every day, you’d still have to do without them.

Right? You’d still have to prepare meals. You’d still have to make sure that food was in the fridge and you’d still have to, you’d still have to work on your own mental health and your own mindset. You’d still have to do laundry and dishes. This might be less of it. You’d still have to do it. So let’s not confuse motherhood with house chores or home care tasks, or just life in general.

Now, I believe that mom life is the best life because you’re not just doing all those things for yourself. All those things that you get to do, you get to be in charge of. You, you are in the driver’s seat here. All those things that you get to do, you’re also doing for someone else. It’s more motivating to me because I’m not just doing it for myself.

I can let myself down every day. That’s how I lived most of my life before kids. I was just constantly letting myself down, making bad decisions, and you know, just not taking care of myself.  and when I had kids, it gave me incentive to care for myself. But the thing is, I had the incentive and the motivation, but not the know-how.

I didn’t know how to simply and easily care for myself in the ways that I needed to care for myself and maintain the home. On top of that, this was something I had to learn by trial and error. I had to learn through online courses. I had to learn. From books, from Google searches, from Pinterest searches, I had to try things the wrong way so many times before I figured it out.

And I’m not gonna say that the way I figured it out makes my life run smoothly and perfectly because it doesn’t. The way I figured it out gives me a lot of grace and a lot of wiggle room and a lot of room to get it wrong, and a lot of room to fall behind on my tasks because what I’ve realized is that not everything has to be done a hundred percent all of the time.

I can be happy right where I am with what I have, and I can take time to grow my relationship with my children and to nurture them even though my sink is not totally. . And even though I have a pile of laundry to get to, I can still enjoy my time with my kids. And so much of this was learned through, through mindset and concepts, a lot of mental concepts laid to the foundation for this, for me. Okay. And all of this, everything I’m about to tell you is in the Happy Mom Method. Okay. I learned how to stop blocking my joy. I realized that I had habits in place that were holding me back. They were keeping me stuck. They were keeping me in this mindset of, I don’t deserve more.

I’m not worthy of this. I’m not good enough for that. I had to acknowledge how I was self-sabotaging. And I was keeping myself small and keeping myself stuck. I had to start looking at, I had to start taking a mindful look at my life, my habits, my thoughts, everything I did in a day. I had to start questioning, why am I doing it this way?

Can this be simpler? Am I over complicating things? Am I taking extra steps? Am I putting extra stress on myself somewhere that doesn’t really.

I had to shift into an abundance mindset.  that more is always coming. I have always been taken care of. I had to shift from fear into faith, and I had to learn how to get so grounded in gratitude and contentment, and I had to learn to be happy right where I am. Before anything would ever change, I had to start noticing when my negative thoughts were tearing me down because I absolutely was sabotaging myself with my thoughts. I had to pay attention to the words I’m using. I had to start affirming myself, speaking to myself positively instead of bullying myself. Honestly, I had to learn how to overcome a fear of success because every time I started to make changes in my life, it would get really uncomfortable.

I don’t know if you’ve ever experienced that, like the first time you ever clear your kitchen counters like totally clear. Not just like, oh, I did the dishes and wiped the counters down, but like you clear them off like in a decluttering spree and then you walk into that kitchen and it feels so uncomfortable.

It’s great that it’s clean, but you’re like, I don’t know what to do with myself now. I’m used to just stressing when I walk in here and now I’m not stressed, and now I don’t know what to do with myself. . I had to overcome that fear of success, that uncomfortable feeling of, of growth, okay. And I had to learn how to immerse myself in a positive and growth mindset instead of watching tv.

That was counterproductive to what I wanted, and following social media accounts that were counterproductive to what I was trying to achieve. I had. I had to start looking at my home differently and setting things up so that it serves me instead of me serving it. I’m not here to keep my home perfect and tidy.

My home is here to be a safe place for me to live and a place where I can rest and feel comfortable and safe. I had to flip my mindset about my home, and I had to learn how to simplify getting areas of my home. How to learn, how to create happy spaces within my home where I could go and rest when the rest of the house felt like an unsafe wreck.

I had to learn what areas of my home were creating anxiety in me, and I had to learn how to handle those. I had to learn how to stop stressing every time I walked into my kitchen. I had to learn how to set it up so that I would succeed instead of setting it up in the way other people expected it to.

Right. I had to rethink and reimagine everything in my brain and everything in my home in order for me to unlock this peace and joy that I can’t help but share with the entire world. And this is all, all the things that I cover in bits and pieces throughout my parentable products, like my meal planning guide and my self-love starter kit.

And. Practices that are in my everyday Joy planner practices that are in the Happy Mom Brain Workbook. I had to take all of these things and apply them to my life so that I could be here today. Honestly, because I was on a path of destruction, I was going to self sabotage myself into non-existence.  and then I decided that wasn’t possible for me.

I had to make changes, and these are the changes I made. This is the roadmap and the order in which I made the changes that have had a lasting effect of me going on two and a half years without wanting to end my life. And for me, that’s a big deal. I’m not saying this cures depression. I’m saying what this did is change my lifestyle so that I’m no longer, I’m no longer susceptible to the mental illness that used to plague me.

My life used to be set up in a way that I was already bullying myself. I was already thinking little of myself. I was already constantly drowning in the housework, feeling like I would never get ahead. I had set up everything against myself. So that if depression came in, I couldn’t handle it. It was too much, and I was already prepared to just be miserable.

Instead, now I’ve built up these defenses so that when I feel depression coming in, because you can’t just stop mental illness if you’re inclined to it, like it wants to come back in. But now the way I handle it when it comes. Everything else in my life is set up in a way to just destroy it. Like I’m winning the battle against depression.

Now I’m not struggling with depression. I’m winning the battle, and when it comes to anxiety, I feel it in my body totally different than I used to. And this is my experience from how I changed my life to set it up in a way to make me strong enough to fight these things. To convince myself I’m strong enough to fight them, that I’m worthy of fighting them, that they are liars that come in and tell me that other things are more important in my life when I know that the truth is my relationships are more important, my sanity is more important, my peace is more important, and I just have to share these things with you.

And I’m sorry if today’s episode might have come off sounding like an. But the Happy Mom brain is not the Happy Mom brain, sorry. The Happy Mom Method. The online course is open for enrollment right now. It is on sale right now for $99. Okay. The typical price is 2 29. I’m still dropping lessons into this almost every week.

It’s still growing and being developed. Which means that if you get in right now for the super low introductory price that I’ve brought back for a Black Friday deal, um, that $99, it gets you, I don’t even know, like 10 lessons that are already in there. And then there’s 28 more coming. At least I’m maybe adding to this as I’m continuing to grow and it comes with a workbook and I totally guide you through it.

It’s video lessons. Um, and I’ve already got a handful of students in there, but because most of my students opted out of joining the private Facebook group where you can get group coaching, I have availability to add more of you into group coaching right now. So if you want to get in right now and get in on group coaching, I will be showing up in that group, chatting with you guys.

The group will be as active as you want it. You can post, you can share, um, you can ask for clarification on anything. And I think it’s just such a beautiful community that I’m building over there and I really want you to be part of it. And you getting in on the ground at the lowest price ever. Um, I don’t know if you have a lot of experience with online courses, but it’s hosted through Teachable and I can go in and add things to it anytime in the future.

And so as the thing grows and as I add bonuses and create new things, you will always get the new stuff without paying more. So that 99 bucks of the intro price, this is something that could potentially grow so much bigger than the $229 product. I’m promising you , so I have to share this with you because it is.

It’s an incredible deal and $99, if you put in the work and you follow the lessons, and you do the work, the exercises, those lifestyle changes that I’m sharing with you, your life can radically change in the next three to six months. That’s how long it took me to start seeing the changes, about three to six months, and my life was radically changed.

And there is no going back to that hot mess, mom in survival mode, struggling, hating her house. I mean, everything ebbs and flows, things creep back in. But when you have the tools to handle it and you have these habits of handling it when it comes in, oh my goodness, friend, it can radically change your life.

and that’s what I want for you, is that if you feel like you’re struggling, you feel like you’re drowning, you feel like, you know, people keep throwing these challenges at you, like the five day challenge and the like self care bingo and all these types of things you keep seeing and it’s like, I can’t keep up with that.

I can’t do that because you feel like there’s several things you have to happen first to put you in a place to be able to do that. You know, the cleaning challenges and all that stuff. This is that thing to do first. That’s going to help. So that you can add these challenges later in and up level, all the different areas of your life, and you’ll actually get the most out of those other programs and challenges that those creators are intending you to get out of it.

I mean, if you’re sitting there wondering like, why can’t I just do, you know, this 30 day declutter challenge, why can’t I just do this?  because I already have dishes and laundry and kids and my own mental health to take care of, and I keep getting burnt out every time I turn around. This course is designed to be the prey requested to all those other things, because when someone creates a cleaning challenge like that, they’re assuming that you’re not drowning right now.

They’re assuming that you’re drowning because your house is dirty and. When it’s all the things feeling like they’re against you, you need what it is that I am creating for you. The Happy Mom method. It is the baseline, it is the intro level, and yet so, so much more, right? Because once you get to the end of this, you’re probably not gonna need any of those free challenges out there.

I mean, you might need a challenge, because I’m not going in deep on how to clean things. I’m going in deep on your mindset about cleaning them all right? I mean, just to be totally honest with what’s in it. It’s not a, it’s not a solve all your problems type thing, but it is a, let me empower you to solve your problems type of thing.

If you need more information about it, if you are interested in it at all. Send me an email hello@brittniclarkson.com or get on my Instagram at brit Clarkson and chat me up. Let’s chat about this. Let’s talk about this. I’m happy to answer any of your questions. I’m happy to do one-on-one coaching with you, if that’s what you’re feeling a vibe for.

I’m happy to just answer your questions for free too. So let me know what you need from me. And again, it’s Black Friday, um, cyber Monday, all those things happening right now. I have every product of mine on sale until the end of the month, so the Happy Mom Method is $99. That’s on sale, that’s over 50% on sale.

I have everything in my Etsy shop on. All these sweatshirts and candles and mugs that I just dropped for the holidays, those are all 10% off. My planners, my workbook, my journals, those are all 25% off when you order them on Etsy, and then all the printable products are all 50% off. So definitely jump in there.

That’s meant to bloom.etsy.com. Check out what’s on sale right now because everything is in. Is designed to help you live a better life. Everything in my Etsy shop is designed to make your life easier or to encourage you. So check that out. If you haven’t yet, there might even be new stuff added in. All right.

I love you so much, friend. Thank you so much for being here.

About Me

Hi, I’m Brittni, a mom who’s determined to share my light, wisdom, and joyfulness with every mom. My desire is that every woman knows she is worthy of ease and joy and finds the encouragement and motivation to pursue her best life possible.

I live in rural Oregon with my husband and 3 sons. I never dreamed of being a boy-mom, but now I can’t imagine life not surrounded by toy dinosaurs, race cars, and fart noises.

Let’s hang out

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Published by Brittni Clarkson

Hi, I'm Brittni, author, podcaster, transformational speaker, and a mom of 3 boys, passionate about helping moms overcome the overwhelm and actually ENJOY MOTHERHOOD.

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