First off, let’s not confuse motherhood with house management. Managing the home is not exclusive to motherhood and vice versa, but most of us slay at home mamas do have that responsibility if running the whole home. As moms, we set the tone for the whole family. If Mom’s not happy, no one is going to be happy, that’s a simple fact of life. We don’t do it on purpose, but our energy affects those around us, we can’t help it. It’s so important to be proactive in taking care of yourself and in making plans for the whole family so I’m sharing here today my tips for setting yourself up for success as a SAHM.
Weekly planning sessions and coordinated calendars
Much of our stress at home and in marriage comes from making plans that we never communicate to others. How many times have you planned on doing something fun with the family only to find out there were other plans made that you were unaware of? Weekly planning sessions ensure that the whole family is on the same page and last minute cancellations don’t have to happen.
The next source of stress comes from last minute dinner decisions. I personally, am incredibly triggered by having to decide what to make for dinner on an empty stomach. This is exactly why I meal-plan every week during my weekly planning session, then make plans for when to get groceries.
I also use my planning sessions for coordinating my calendars, not just with others, but with myself. I double check my phone calendar with my reminders app with my daily planner so I don’t miss out on anything.
This planning session is also a great time to look at everything you’ve got on your plate and find ways to let go of the clutter in your calendar, choose to make things easier on full days, and make room for rest and enjoyment.
Self care and prioritizing your own needs
Plan to rest and renew your body, mind and soul. Plan time for yourself, prioritize what it is you need to stay mentally and physically and emotionally available to handle all the chaos your mom-life will throw at you.
You’re the one everyone comes to for help. Everything falls on you, and guess what – you’re totally capable of handling it. You were made for this role – you’re the chaos coordinator. You can clean up the messes your family can’t clean up on their own.
They say you can’t pour from an empty cup – but yes you can mama. You shouldn’t, it leads to burn out and resentment and depressive cycles and a lack of desire to live. Moms pour from empty cups all the time. We can manage. But if we want to flourish and bloom and be our very best selves, we’re gonna have to stop doing that. We’ve got to take care of ourselves more than anyone else does, because we don’t just show up for ourselves every day, we show up for the whole family. We set the tone for the whole house. If we are about to break, so is the home. We make the home. Take care of yourself because you deserve it, and because everyone relies on you.
Learn to ask for help.
If raising a kid takes a village, get out there and join a village. Let people know that you need help where you’re struggling. Get plugged in at church, get a meal train during the really difficult seasons, ask a friend to chore swap with you so you both get to skip the worst parts of your chores.
Hire the help as needed and able, use a laundry service, get a housekeeper, buy premade dinners, get your husband to help out more, teach your kids to do their part in helping others.
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