Episode 69: Destressing Your Marriage With Scheduled Intimacy

We, as humans, overcomplicate things. This is one area that shouldn’t be so dang complicated. It’s instinctual, and here we are overthinking and over complicating.

The way to your man’s heart in through his underpants. If you’re feeling any kind of relationship stress, if you’re feeling irrationally irritated by your husband, getting things going in the bedroom will almost always get things moving in the right direction.

Stop making excuses.

When we close off physically, it starts putting a divide between you both. When you deny him for a small reason, he is likely to believe there’s something wrong with him.

Schedule sex into your calendar.

In marriage, having great sex is not the requirement. Having enough sex, is. It doesn’t have to be amazing to happen.

When we let too much time pass between intimate encounters we start to forget how great it feels, how incredible it can be physically and emotionally.

Fall in love with your husband again.

Let yourself get caught up in all the things you love about your husband. Let yourself feel those fluffy Hallmark Movie feelings. It’s okay (it’s more than okay!) to be head over heels in love with your husband.

“I’m the only one…” thinking.

I’m the only one who can give him this pleasure. I’m the only one who gets to pack his lunches. I’m the only one who gets to be there for him every single day. Make him a priority. You signed up to be the only one for him.

5 Tips for making Scheduled Intimacy happen.

1. Brain dump.

Let out all the thoughts that are distracting you. Get everything out of your head, so you can get out of your head. Put it on paper so you can push pause on it all.

This is helpful every night, not just on sex nights.

2. Libido yoga.

YouTube has lots of short videos that will lead you through a yoga flow specific to help increase your libido and get blood flowing.

Evening stretches are always a good idea – especially when you spend a lot of your day lifting small kids or sitting in a desk.

3. Mix it up with music.

Let’s Marvin Gaye and get it on. Create a playlist of songs that get you going to listen to before hand (or during if you’re into that).

4. Meditate and visualize.

Sit in the quiet (or while listening to your playlist) and play out the night you want to have in your head. Visualize the best sex you could possibly have tonight before you ever get started.

5. Set the mood.

Not just candles and dim lighting – start to view your room as a sanctuary for rest, relaxation and romping. Clear all the clutter out of your room, don’t keep the laundry pile where you can see it from your bed, be intentional with this space.

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