What do you believe YOU have to do everyday?
I want you to really think about this one. What is it that you, personally, feel like you need to do every day? How long is this list? Is it realistic? Have you ever, in your life, done everything you think you need to do in a day?
When we set high standards for ourselves our goal is to be motivated and to achieve more, but I’m pretty sure that’s not what happens. In my experiences, impossible expectations have always led to disappointment.
Why are we placing these impossible expectations on ourselves? Why are we constantly setting ourselves up for disappointment… and how do we stop?
What is your definition of success?
Go ahead, pull out your notebook and journal this one. What does success look like for you? What has to happen for you to finally say “I’ve made it, this is it?”
Is it more money? Is it a happy home? Is it a clean home? Is it a promotion? Is it completing your to do list?
What is success FOR YOU? Be specific. I’ll wait……
What do you expect other moms to do in your situation?
I know we try not to compare ourselves to others, but I do want you to compare your perception of others with your perception of yourself.
What do you expect other moms to do everyday?
How do you define success for other moms?
Don’t just read these words. Take your time to answer them. What do you expect from other women in your same situation? Is it a whole lot less than you expect for yourself?
I don’t want you to take this the wrong way, but why do you think you’re better than them? That’s right, you don’t think you’re better than them. So why in the world are you holding yourself to a high standard? Why are you expecting more from yourself than you expect for others?
1. Realize perfect isn’t real.
Lower your expectations of yourself. Be realistic, sweet friend. You can’t do “perfect.” You are doing the best you can. You are doing a great job. You’ve got this.
2. Give yourself some grace
Give yourself the same grace you are giving to other moms. You don’t expect that mom at Target with a toddler to get through the whole trip without a meltdown, so why do you feel so much shame when you’re in that situation?
3. Let this be easy; you’re already enough.
The next time you feel shame or guilt for not “having it all together,” remember that you don’t expect any other mom in the world to have it all together either. We’re all just doing the best we can and we don’t need to be adding unrealistic expectations to ourselves. This is hard enough, don’t make it harder than it has to be. Let it be easy.
You don’t have to have it all together to be a good mom. You already are.